16 May 2025

Team Death

In the "they didn't teach us this in law school" department:

One of the things my job requires on a regular basis is talking with clients about death and grievous disabilities and injuries. This is something that makes most people uncomfortable and is very unfamiliar for people who aren't "Team Death" professionals (a group that includes estate planning and probate lawyers, funeral home directors, cemetery officials, clergy, grief counselors, hospice nurses, corners, bank trust department officers, life insurance sales people, financial planners, actuaries, Social Security bureaucrats, many florists, many kinds of doctors, and many CPAs).

It takes many years to find ways to do that which communicates to people what they need to hear and understand, without being too socially uncomfortable. Ordinary etiquette discourages discussing these possibilities at all. It can be depressing and many of us superstitiously just don't want to "tempt fate."

It is almost a whole philosophy and way of thinking, starting with recognizing that death will eventually happen to everyone, that most people experience serious disabilities and injuries at some point in their lives, and that life frequently presents people with surprising tragedies and unexpected triumphs of survival. Someone who seems fine and healthy today can die tomorrow, while someone who seemed to have only a few months to live can sometimes hold on for another decade or more.

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