15 May 2019

Learning About Relationships And Other Non-Academic Aspects Of Life

One thing that almost everyone needs to learn about in life is how to function well in a variety of relationships. Parent and child. Brother and sister. Teacher and student. Boss and employee. Advisor and advisee. Leader and follower. Friend. Boyfriend or girlfriend. Spouse. Customer and salesperson. And more relationships that are often less central.

Now, one of the things we as a society, especially in the United States, can be a bit naive about is that just because people need to learn about something, doesn't mean that doing so as part of the conventional classroom curriculum is the right way to go about doing it. Indeed, frequently, it is an inferior way to help people learn something. For the most part, however, we aren't intuitively tuned into the learning that goes on outside of the traditional classroom instruction format from teacher to student.

Socialization is critical and unlike many things that are important in life, not very hereditary at all. But, often, it is mostly learned through osmosis, by observing others, by example, by trial and error, by instinct. This doesn't mean that there aren't better and worse ways to socialize people. But, it does mean that it is more about mindfulness in how the larger social context is structured and interpersonal relationships are formed, and less about instructing someone and expecting them to learn something that way.

Sure, the traditional classroom instruction model can be a good way to teach a lot of traditional academic subjects. But, there is much ore to learn than what one learns in the classroom. And, even then, some subjects are horrible to try to teach that way, first and foremost among them being foreign languages. A month immersed in a culture in which you have a boyfriend or girlfriend who doesn't speak your own language very well will teach you for more (at the right age anyway) than a year of classroom instruction and diligent attention to homework assignments.

For example, consider college. Certainly, traditional academic instruction is an important part of that experience. But, so are the relationships that you form with equally talented peers (crassly called networking), and the experience is living in a somewhat utopian and well functioning community for a few years in order to understand how an institution that is well run and successful operates before heading back out into a work where most organizations are grossly mismanaged and don't run well. What one learns by example in situations like this is part of what makes graduates of these institutions naturals for management consulting positions.

In the same way, you often hear about people urging decision makers to make "life skills" a part of the curriculum. And, I'll be the first to tell you that "life skills" from doing your taxes to cooking and doing laundry to changing diapers to changing a car tire are important things to learn in life. But, again, the fact that they are important to learn doesn't mean that a traditional classroom instruction setting is the right way to teach them.

Academia has know this for a long time. PhD programs train the educators who are at the very top of the educational pyramid. And, almost all PhDs who stay in their field will spend many years of their lives primarily employed in classroom instruction. Yet, it is rare for a PhD program to offer even a single course on how to teach. This probably goes too far. But, the typical secondary school education program, which may include two or three full semesters worth of instruction in how to teach is grossly overbalanced in the other direction. There is good teaching and there is bad teaching, but teaching, ironically, is not something that is usually best learned in a traditional classroom instruction model.

This doesn't mean we should just abandon classroom instruction. There is still a big and important role for that in education and socialization. But, we would do well to look at education as a broader program of socialization and to recognize that not everything that is worth learning should be taught in a direct and straightforward instructional manner.

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