24 October 2005

Prophet Dress Code.

The Chronicle of Higher Education has a feature story on a fellow who thinks that seven breakthroughs in biochemical level medicine could allow people to live for thousands of years. I'm skeptical, but the real reason I've noted this story is so that I know how a proper prophet should dress and act, as I have come to this profession late in life.

If you wish to be a prophet, first you must dress the part. No more silk ties or tasseled loafers. Instead, throw on a wrinkled T-shirt, frayed jeans, and dirty sneakers. You should appear somewhat unkempt, as if combs and showers were only for the unenlightened. When you encounter critics, as all prophets do, dismiss them as idiots. Make sure to pepper your conversation with grandiose predictions and remind others of your genius often, lest they forget. Oh, and if possible, grow a very long beard.

I looked the part to a "t" in college, although I was always a very nice prophet who wasn't too mean to my critics. But, the beard and long hair disappeared when I started dating my wife and went to law school, and I have owned a great many silk ties since then. What a pity.

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